After years and years of avoiding conflict, burying my head in the sand and imagining that everything was perfect I’ve decided it is time to grow up.
I want to be more plugged in and although it’s been more important to me to avoid things than feel uncomfortable and deal with them; so, now I am learning how to get in touch with who I am. Learning how to keep grounded in reality instead of off in some fantasy land.
I started this journey by taking a personality test…..it is called the Enneagram Test. I discovered through this test that I am a Type 9. After reading what that meant, I was shocked! I have never taken any sort of test or quiz that pegged me so perfectly. I know this probably won’t be true for everyone, but it really worked for me.
I’m sure I will go into detail on Type 9 traits as this blog continues but here is a brief overview -
Healthy Type 9 - Deeply receptive, accepting, unselfconscious, emotionally stable and serene. Trusting of self and others, at ease with self and life, innocent and simple. Patient, unpretentious, good-natured, genuinely nice people.
Unhealthy Type 9 - Can be highly repressed, undeveloped, and ineffectual. Feel incapable of facing problems: become obstinate, dissociating self from all conflicts. Neglectful and dangerous to others. Wanting to block out of awareness anything that could affect, them, they dissociate so much that they eventually cannot function: numb, depersonalized.
Unfortunately I am deeply in the unhealthy section. It’s dangerous to me and my relationships. So, I have decided to work my way out. I am trying to do that by concentrating and focusing on everything that happens. Stop the daydreaming, and live in the real world. Which might seem silly, but I am a master at daydreaming…..my brain is always somewhere else.
I am also making changes in other areas of my life. I am seriously training to participate in an Iron distance triathlon in 2012, instead of just dreaming about it. I am blogging about my training on my triathlon blog – here. I am finding new recipes and more creative ways to cook instead of just unthinking and going through the motions of cooking the same things over and over. To add to this challenge, I’m trying to stay within a budget and create healthy meals as well. I am also working at growing my business, Glynne’s Soaps, Inc. and stretching myself in areas of sales, marketing, and bookkeeping. You can read about the business on it’s blog – here. I’m sure I will get in to all of this and more in my posting.
I know it will be hard, and I’m not expecting perfection but I am somewhat looking forward to the challenge. I can’t make this transformation for someone else.. I have to do it for me.
I am keeping this blog as a journal of my progress. By making it public, there is always the chance that it will help someone else on their journey as well.